Programs

 How To Be A Burden to              Your Kids

      The Gift of Years

    Thank God, We're              Miserable

 The "Oy" and Joy of Caregiving

   Didn't My Skin                 Used To Fit?

          Aging with Humor

I've Survived Damn   Near Everything

Strong At the Broken Places

 When the Heart                 Weeps

     Making Loss Matter

 Too Soon Old, Too              Late Smart

   When am I Old Enough to Know    Better?

Quotes for Meshuganas

Bring Me a Sane Man and I will cure him for you. Carl Jung

A sane response to an insane situation is insane. R.D. Laing

God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh -Voltaire

The only fool bigger than one who knows it all is the one who argues with him

 The only people I know who are happy are those I don't know well.

The monkey may be off your back, but the circus never leaves town. Anne Lamott


Tools for "Suffering In Style."

Resign As General Manager of the Universe

Live in the Moment

Schedule Joy in Your Life

Think Like an Optimist

Think about Thinking

                                    Life Changing Books

A Gift from the Sea - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

If You Meet the Buddha On the Road, Kill Him- Sheldon Kopp, MD

Man's Search for Meaning -Viktor Frankl, MD

The Road Less Travelled - M. Scott Peck, MD

When Bad Things Happen To Good People - Rabbi Harold J Kushner

Less is More the Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz

The Search for Momma and the Meaning of Life- Irvin Yalom, MD

Flying Without Wings Personal Reflections on Being Disabled - Arnold Beisser, MD



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Wednesday
Jan052011

My Year Of Living Imperfectly

January is like opening day in baseball -we can all go to the World Series. We start with a “clean slate.”  In reality, we bring all our baggage into each new year.  With the wisdom of age I’ve accepted that of course, I have baggage- but it’s cute and it matches.

 “There is a tale of an elderly Chinese woman who had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole.  One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water; while the cracked pot arrived only half full.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, one day it spoke to the woman, 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' 'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that makes is who we are.”

Shame drives “never good enough” and keeps us from connection which is why we’re here. We can’t appear vulnerable so we can’t be authentic - we cover our flaws instead of embracing them.  According to Brené Brown, PhD, a leading researcher on shame we need the courage to be imperfect.  With age we can make fools of ourselves and do it with enthusiasm - we’ve done it so many times by now.

 I’m reminded of the chorus of Leonard Cohen’s poem “Anthem”

                   Ring the bells that still can ring

                   Forget your perfect offering

                   There is a crack, a crack, in everything

                    That's how the light gets in 

So, to my crackpot friends, have a happy new year and remember to notice the “flowers on your side of the path!”


 

 

 



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    Response: this content
    Good Site, Continue the wonderful work. thnx!
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    - Musings of a psycho-therapist - My Year Of Living Imperfectly

Reader Comments (5)

Thank you--I needed that more than you know.

January 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersima

As always you nail it Judy. You give us license to be ourselves, cracks and all. Thank you.

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracey Jackson

I love that story. Thank you for reminding us to forgive and even embrace our imperfections. They too can light our path.
Middle age brings us the gift of not worrying what others think and therefore living our authentic selves.

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHarriet Cabelly

cracks are part of life.
when we recognize them so we can adapt.
When I tell one of my grand child that Grand Ma is old she answers:"old people die". She reminds me of the gratitude I have for life trying to stay a positive person. May be because our Mom had no pots for her garden but it was colorful, and as a widow she never let us show how difficult her life was. I am the opposite. I want to open my inner and outer voice to others and share cracked pots. There is a reason for imperfection. so much to learn from it: happiness, beauty, philosophy, joy. Thank you for the story

August 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranne marie whalley

I find life an exciting business,The point is succinctness of expression. ocaoco ocaoco - supra shoes.

October 12, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwpyoof wpyoof

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